Strong Arm, Strong Heart

This past Father’s Day Kendrick asked me if he could start calling me “Dad.” Like many of the children in the Front Porch neighborhood, Kendrick has never had much of a relationship with his biological father.

In fact, Kendrick has never even met his real dad, and he never will.

I first met Kendrick soon after we moved to the Front Porch.  He was 10 years old at that time.  He’s 16 now.

Kendrick’s circle of friends has been in-and-out of jail, but I’ve been watching him make many good decisions over the last few years.  However he is alone in that.  He’s surrounded by people who make bad decisions.  He really must choose not to go out with his friends in the neighborhood.  He doesn’t even go outside to play basketball with them when he is at their home avoiding negative influences.  Many of these peers are just too intertwined in destructive patterns of behavior.  Kendrick’s brother, in fact, has been in jail for the last four years.

And, like other children in the neighborhood, he’s pretty much part of the family, routinely sleeping over at our house, going with us to church and spending much of his free time just hanging out.  He actually calls me every Saturday that he is not already spending the weekend at our home.  He’s not calling for money.  He wants a ride to church.

Kendrick’s home life, like most many in this neighborhood, is unstable. His Mom is rarely home.  In fact, she’s gone for weeks at a time, and Kendrick often has no idea when she’ll be back home.  The refrigerator and pantry are often empty.  And to save money for other essentials, Kendrick often skips lunch.

Even getting to school is a challenge. He must pay for a city bus to take him to school, because Kendrick doesn’t live in the same district as the high school he attends and is zoned for.

Last week one of his teachers fixed up an interview for Kendrick to apply for an internship with a local bank.  An opportunity like this presents a number of challenges, the first of which is apparel.  Kendrick has never worn, much less owned, business attire.  So he and I went shopping for a suit.  When we left the discount store, Kendrick looked like a million bucks.  He couldn’t stop smiling.

At the interview, the banker was impressed with Kendrick’s Honor Roll grades and impressive, professional appearance.  He and Kendrick had a good interview, and Kendrick passed this first screening interview.  He’ll have additional interviews down the road, as he’s still in the running for the summer internship.  Regardless of how the bank internship turns out, Kendrick is beginning to develop a network of post-high school possibilities.

College-level athletics might also provide a path to larger life success.

Kendrick is a big guy – about 6 foot, 5 inches – but he’s one of the most quiet, shy, and fragile kids in the neighborhood.  His arm wing span is amazing.  He’s just a big, athletic  kid.

But emotionally, he is fragile.  Not having a father or a big brother around has left emotional scars.  Once when we went bowling, he just shut down after a few frames, having fallen behind the other kids.  He’s quick to get down on himself and tends to think he’s worthless.

However, on the football field, he’s competitive and aggressive – almost mean and certainly intimidating.  He’s strong and big.  And very good.

So last weekend we drove down to Birmingham to this one-day football camp designed to help prepare high school football athletes for college-tryouts and recruiting opportunities.

Attending a camp like this – and many more of them – will be Kendrick’s only chance at a college football scholarship.  This is how college football recruiting takes place in 2012.  College coaches and their assistants don’t have time to go to many high school games to scout possible talent.  The way college scouts notice you these days is when you attend these camps and run drills and get video taped.

With his Honor Roll grades, he might qualify for a partial scholarship through the bank, but without a FULL scholarship, the reality is he’s not going to college.  That’s the reality for kids in this neighborhood.

But Kendrick was ready to attend the football camp.  He worked his heart out and received high marks.  One of the scouts who specifically works with quarterbacks said, “Where have you been?  You gotta get out there more.  You can throw.  You are big.  You got the tools.  But not getting out there is hurting you.  You gotta keep getting out here.  Get to more of these camps and colleges will get to know you and want you.”

Who knows where this goes ultimately.  Maybe Kendrick is the next Cam Newton or Tim Tebow.  He’s similarly big and shows every indication of having real natural talent.

But one thing is sure, if he’s not at these one-day camps to be observed and instructed by college-level experts, he’s not going anywhere.

So, Front Porch Ministry will continue to be there for Kendrick going forward.  We’ll keep taking him to these camps – at least as many as we can get him to – and in a position to be seen by college coaches and recruiters.

As with all the kids that we’re working with down here on the Front Porch, we’ll do our best to see that Kendrick has a chance.

Thom Hazelip

The Forgotten, Disliked and Abused

This holiday season was, by far, our busiest yet.  Our Family-To-Family outreach (adopting families for Christmas) successfully connected about 40 suburban families/groups of friends with 40 inner city families who otherwise would not have had Christmas.  Many actually met with the family, taking the mother shopping and providing a meal as well.

Last year the Free Family Portraits and Happy Birthday Jesus Party served 26 families and around 30 kids, respectively.  This year both of those outreaches tripled in numbers.  The Women’s Christmas Gathering also grew both in size and program and our year-end mailing grew from 500 in 2008 to nearly 1,400 this year.

However, those are just numbers.  Numbers do not reflect much of anything beyond being uncomfortably crowded or very busy.  In fact those numbers do not tell any of the amazing acts of kindness, love, generosity, grace, acceptance and the spirit of God that filled so many this Christmas season through people who volunteered of themselves for others… and in most cases for other people they did not even know or had never met.

There were professional photogs who have been hired all over the globe to take pictures of the world’s most famous and wealthy spending their time with some of the poorest, most neglected and abused in our country – taking their pictures, laughing with them, playing and eating – generally loving, accepting and giving of themselves and their talents.  There were performers who have played for tens of thousands lending their gifts to women in the name of Jesus on the occasion of His birth.  There was winter clothing bought by people who live hundreds of miles away whom we’ve never met yet sent here to cloth children and keep them warm. There were busy people with families and companies of their own to take care of during the busy Christmas season giving up hours and days of their time while being overwhelmed with the larger-than-expected numbers of people showing up at events or putting together hundreds of letters, calendars and addressing the envelopes.  There was also the world renown famous… giving, not in front of cameras but in quiet anonymity with genuine concern and love.

There were so many acts of kindness no one was able to chronicle half of them but many took notice.  Many of the forgotten, disliked and abused noticed.  They witnessed great acts given in His name and for His purposes.  Purposes that were for the forgotten disliked and abused.  Some of that number even decided to devote the rest of their lives to seeking Him who is the author of all that we see, know and is unknowable.It was a wonderful season.

Birthdays

Remember when you were young and your birthday was the most special day of the year?  I remember being in 3rd grade and Sonya Zorn, the most popular girl in school, was having a birthday.  Other boys bragged about what they were going to get her.  Knowing she liked a music group called The Carpenters I took my sister’s album, cut out their cardboard pictures and taped them to a white t-shirt then made a card out of construction paper.  She acted like she liked it very much and Al Crosby shot me the stink eye.

The other day Zach, an 11yr old boy and one of my Band of Brothers (a group of 6 middle school boys I mentor that have given their lives to Christ), had a birthday.  Knowing his home situation and finding out no one had given him a party I asked him to come to my house later in the day.  Not having the time to make a real cake we had a little store-bought cake and a few of his friends there.  After singing happy birthday to him I invited Zach and the B.O.B. to spend the night.  Around 11 PM I needed to run to Wal-mart for some cable.  I went down to the basement to see is any of the guys wanted to ride with me and they all said “Yeah!!” then they proceeded to fight over the front seat.  I reminded them I was just going to buy some wires for the projector system… it didn’t matter what it was for they were in.

“Raise your hand if this is the best birthday ever!” Zach yelled out on our way to the store.  Several boys raised their hands.  “Best birthday ever?”, I thought.  We didn’t have time to make a real cake, no presents, his own family forgot and now we are on a boring trip to the store for some wires.

In the neighborhood we moved from this party would be considered lame and the kids would be asking “That’s it?”.  The birthday kid would be dissapointed, other kids would be making fun of and bragging about their own birthdayq extravaganzas and the parent would probably be embarrassed their birthday party didn’t measure up to what the other parent’s do.  But here’s Zach, all excited 8 people sang the birthday song to him and he is on his running an errand.  I asked him “Why this one was so good?” and he told me “Most birthdays no one says nothing.”

While leaving the store I asked if they wanted to go through the Wendy’s drive thru and get a frosty.  As you can imagine no one declined but when they talked about how hungry they were I realized none of these kids had dinner.  When I asked if they were hungry and no one had eaten anything since their school lunch, besides that little piece of birthday cake.  I ordered off the dollar menu and spent around $20 for seven people and we went off singing, dancing and shaking the van to some hip hop.

While in the front seat Zach was stuffing his face with hot fries and said, “Raise your hands if this is the best day of your life!”

The best day of his life?  Wow.

One thing I know… it had little to do with food.

by: Mr. Thom

Forgotten

After an eventful day we were hoping Sunday night would be a time to relax.  My day started early. At 6 AM I was assembling a big grill that would cook hundreds of hotdogs at the 2nd annual outdoor church service in our neighborhood.  It was a great day but by late afternoon when we got home we were so tired I hoped no one would knock at our door so we could just rest.  When Michele told me one girl was going to hang out with us for a while it was for a very good reason.  Her older sister had run away, again, a few days earlier but they found her and she agreed to go to a center for troubled teens.  Our friend had now found out her sister was suicidal.  This girl is usually jubilant and a strong leader but at our home she went hours without speaking a word.  We didn’t have a lot of wisdom so Michele just kept her close, asked questions and loved her as a sister would.  The girl seemed to feel protected and loved just by being near Michele.  Then as it started getting dark a couple of 12 year old girls came to our side gate screaming “Help!  It’s an emergency!”  Two Hispanic men were chasing them, trying to forcibly take them back to their duplex a few houses down from us.  We later learned from the police that in Mexico it is common for men to take 12/13 year old girls and keep them until they turn 18 then marry them.  The girls were hysterical.  Crying and screaming they told me their story of running from these guys but they had no place to go so they came to our home.  I wanted desperately to fix the situation but I called 911 instead because only the police could do that.  By the time the officers arrived there was about 20 African-Americans in the middle of the street (and one white guy – me) who were very concerned about the situation.  The crowd was getting restless and started making their way toward the small duplex where these guys live.  Had the police officers not done such a tremendous job there is a good chance a race riot could have broken out on our street.  These tragic situations are well beyond any training Michele and I have had.  It would be easy to be too fearful to get involved but as the Bible says, “God does not give us a spirit of timidity, but a spirit of power of love and of self-discipline” (2 Timothy 1:7).  With no experience in helping a girl deal with a sibling’s suicidal tendencies or girls who narrowly escaped abduction we just were there to talk to them, hug them and help them communicate with their families.  Sometimes being there is enough.Two days removed from that night and I am feeling sad about how little our city seems to care about problems in the black community.  I am not a fan of the local news but tonight I watched the late news and was wondering why something like an arrest being made over the attempted kidnapping of two young girls would not make the news.  I’m pretty sure the reason is because we are in a poor black community.  That’s probably why the four year old boy that was killed by a hit-and-run driver never made the news and why no one outside our neighborhood never heard of the man who was shot on the steps of a church a block from our home.  I told Michele a year ago that if things like the little boy being killed happened in a nicer part area every TV station in town would cover.  I was thinking about that as the news anchor was relaying the day’s biggest stories and there it was….  It came on just after the picture of a bank robbery in action.  A story came up from one of the nicest areas of town and for the life of me I can’t understand why it could ever make the news of even a small city.  The bullet points read:  Franklin Public Library

  • 2 Laptops Missing
  • Toilets Filled With Paper Towels.

That’s the kind of story that’s not big enough for the conversation at the local hair salons but it made the TV news in America’s 29th largest media market while on a daily basis real tragedy goes unnoticed among the city’s poor.  They are forgotten… and they know it.

A Call For Prayer and Advice

It’s now 11:16 pm on Tuesday March 24th and my wife is at the jail in downtown Nashville.   Here is the story:

Dear Friends,

Right now Michele is at the Domestic Violence Division of the Metro Nashville Jail.  She has taken one of our dear neighborhood friends there to file for a restraining order for her.  They also know the lady she is taking will be arrested as well when they find out who she is.  I need prayer and advise from an expert in this area so I’m writing to all of you.  Here’s the part of the story I can share:

Dee (not her real name) has been having ongoing issues with a man who is the father of her child (I’ll call him “Bob”).  The issues are violent.  After one of the attacks she kicked his car and busted  out a tail light.  Although he had just physically hurt her he pressed charges for the tail light and had her arrested but she did not press charges on him.  Because of that she is on probation and must attend weekly classes but without a car she relies on the bus system.  After being late a couple of times and unable to sit in on the classes her probation officer put out a warrant for her arrest.  “Bob” knows that she has a warrant out on her so he starts hanging out at her home again and roughs her up knowing that she cannot talk with the police because she will be arrested.  This past weekend he had her in a position where the kids feared for her life and one of them hit Bob over the head with a vase knocking him out.  She is right now talking with a Domestic Violence Officer who will, in all probability also will arrest her on the spot as well.

She has children so being incarcerated can cause lots of issues.  We love her kids and spend a good deal of time with them so Michele and I will do what we can to help but are not sure what we can do.

We need your prayer for this family and for how we can help.  I also need one of you who might know someone who could help us.  If you know someone who would be willing to help us and has an expertise in any area of her story please let us know or have them email us.

Thank you.

Dangerous Criminal Moves On

Our Home is Threatened. About seven months ago one of Nashville’s most dangerous criminals moved into the abandoned house across the street from us.  His criminal arrest sheet is very long.  His crimes are violent – including home invasions – and yet he lives a very loud lifestyle that makes no apologies.  My wife, Michele, confessed to me about a month ago that for the first time since we moved here she dealing with a lot of fear.

I can’t give you his name nor can I relay what I know of his crimes.  I can only tell you that I believe him to be a high-level criminal whose presence changed the attitude of our neighborhood, kids and adults who also lived in fear to walk down the sidewalks on our block.  Many of our neighbors and friends grew up in the projects and have seen much in their lives but do not live in fear yet this man and his family that lives with him were on the streets enough for people to know they should stay inside.  Brand new motorcycles, four-wheelers and a go cart sat in the front yard, unlocked but never touched by anyone.

After a police raid on their home in January the man and his wife paid us a visit.  Fortunately my children were not home to hear the tirade of shouts and threats or see the angry faces and fingers pointing in my face because they thought that we had “snitched them out”.   On a different day one of the family members threatened to blow up another neighbor’s home.

God Protects Our Home. The situation with these guys became so intense that the for the past four weeks the Commander of East Precinct stationed a car on the side of our home 24/7 with their lights on and facing the house across the street.  Many complaints were lodged by the family but fortunately we found favor with the powers that be in the government.  One of my close friends is a contract mercenary.  He gave me tips of wisdom for the situation I was in and he frequently looks in on us and our home, ready to protect me and my family day and night.

A few days ago the family across the street began quietly removing their things from the house and today the house appears empty and the family seems to have moved completely.  Gone are the pitbulls that were loosely chained up in his front yard and could reach the sidewalk.  The porch sits quiet without the loud shouts from his wife threatening anyone in the neighborhood who wants to talk about them to the cops.  Gone is a young member of the family that doesn’t hide the deals he make in plain daylight and in plain sight.

I thank God for protecting my family and these precious kids in our neighborhood.  God is our provider and our protector.

We set out to see a college and ended up seeing a miracle.

Today we set out to see a college but by the end of the day we saw a miracle. I need to back up a bit though to tell the story. Reginald Johnson is one of the best guys you will ever meet. I met him about four years ago at the Salvation Army where he hangs out, plays basketball, refs ballgames and does just about anything Carlos Lowe, the teen director, asks him and never complains. He is a quiet leader around the Magness Potter Community Center. Everybody likes him and he’s just shy enough to barely offer a smile when someone tells him “Thank you” or complements something he’s done. But if you ask him to lead a prayer you will know something about his passion. It’s hard to get Reginald to talk about much but he comes alive when he prays to his Lord and savior Jesus Christ.

At the beginning of this school year we talked about the possibility of him using football to get into college. He is a senior linebacker at Maplewood High School and has had a goal of being the first college graduate in his family’s history. In fact, in four months he will become the first high school graduate in his family. He had a good senior year being named to the “All Metro Nashville” team while intercepting four passes, returning two of them for touchdowns, and knocking down a bunch more. Yet playing at Maplewood doesn’t give him as many opportunities to get his name out around the college coaches as it would if he were attending one of the well-known private schools.

Earlier this week he called me, excited that the coach at Lane College in Jackson, Tennessee wanted him to come visit on Saturday and asked if I could drive him. He wanted to also take a couple of his friends who were also starters on his team. Knowing Reginald, if he called them “friends” they are guys of character. I told them all to be ready at 6:30 AM sharp which would give us more than enough time to get there early. This morning Reginald calls me a few minutes after six to make sure I’m up and going to be on time – they were already up and ready.

Being a NCAA division II school, Lane College could only supply half scholarships to the athletes who end up receiving offers so if any of the three got an offer today there was still the question of how could they afford the other 50% of tuition, room and board. After sitting through a bunch of meetings the president of the school shocked everyone, (including those from the college), by making a pledge that these players and parents will remember for the rest of their lives.

He made an offer that had never been made to a group of prospective Lane College students before – and just before he made it he told every Lane coach, teacher and employee in attendance that the offer could not be repeated at any other meetings. He said that every student in that auditorium who made application to Lane College and had all their paperwork in before March 1st would not have to pay a dime of their undergraduate degree. In effect, he offered every student there a full-ride scholarship.

None of the three guys had ever had a male from their families graduate from college. Today God moved and the president of this small college may have just changed their families for generations to come. God is absolutely amazing. We could not stop talking about and being in awe of God the rest of the day.

God forgive me when I whine…

Christmas season is crazy around the Front Porch.  We are either leading or partnering in on five Christmas outreaches.  During all the rush one piece of paper stopped me cold and I forgot about everything else on my mind and the to do list.  I looked at it briefly and asked Michele to stop what she was busily doing on her laptop.  It was a Christmas wish list from our Adopt-a-Family for Christmas program.  After hearing of the wish list from one of our sweetest neighborhood girls being loaded with all kinds of electronic gear and gadgets Michele and I had a good laugh and she said, “Well, if I were six and someone told me to write up a wish list…”.  Then I started wondering if there were some Moms that wrote out stuff for themselves and wondering if they understood the sacrifices people were making and all the other things that sometimes come to mind when we get a bit too cynical this time of the year.  All of that was swirling around in my mind as I reached over and picked up the folded piece of paper with this list.  I first noticed it was a long list of names that included an adult woman and adult man but the “Christmas Wish List” was so simple, in fact, they did not ask for anything specific.  As I read I couldn’t control my tears.  They simply put their name, age, shirt, pant and shoe sizes.  No Gameboy or Playstation 3.  No toys or dolls of any kind.  They simply hoped for clothing but without even mentioning a specific need for a new winter coat for the oldest child or shoes for their daughter – apparently they will be happy with whatever they receive.It reminds me of this poem my Dad used to read from church pulpits when I was a boy:

Today upon a bus,
I saw a girl with golden hair,
and wished I was as fair.
When suddenly she rose to leave,
I saw her hobble down the aisle.
She had one leg and wore a crutch.
But as she passed, a smile.
Oh God, forgive me when I whine,
I have 2 legs, the world is mine.
I stopped to buy some candy.
The lad who sold it had such charm.
I talked with him, he seemed so glad.
If I were late, it’d do no harm.
And as I left, he said to me,
“I thank you, you’ve been so kind.
It’s nice to talk with folks like you.
You see,” he said, “I’m blind.”

Oh God, forgive me when i whine.

I have 2 eyes, the world is mine.

Later while walking down the street,
I saw a child with eyes of blue.
He stood and watched the others play.
He did not know what to do.
I stopped a moment and then I said,
“Why don’t you join the others, dear?”
And then I knew, he couldn’t hear.

Oh God, forgive me when i whine.
I have 2 ears, the world is mine.

With feet to take me where I’d go.
With eyes to see the sunset’s glow.
With ears to hear what I’d know.
Oh, God, forgive me when I whine.
I’ve been blessed indeed, the world is mine.

Tis The Season…to reach out

December is a great time to reach out to others.  We have four outreaches planned for this month and there is plenty of opportunity to help through volunteering your time, making a donation and/or praying for each one.

More details are coming but here is the quicklist of the Front Porch outreaches:

  1. Adopt-A-Family for Chirstmas (still need families or groups of friends to help)
  2. Women’s Christmas Gathering (still need women to help)
  3. Christmas Party  (a group has tentatively been penciled in)
  4. Family Portraits (photographers booked; may still need a few volunteers)

An announcement and email will be coming with more details on how you can be a part whether you have plenty of time to give, very little time or not even close to Nashville.

I also need to pre-warn you that we will be sending an email and letter requesting financial support. It’s not  our favorite thing to do but unfortunately we still need a bunch of monthly partners just to underwrite this ministry.  With me (Thom) being bedridden due to an injury and my pregnant wife, Michele leaving her job on faith that we will be able to raise the support we make a great picture of what is NOT the ideal time to officially begin a ministry.

He is always for you,

Thom Hazelip

Spiritual Moments

Last night I had the honor of baptizing my daughter Anabelle and two of our neighborhood friends, Demont and Simone.  I thought I was well prepared.  I had physical things to be worried about.  Due to my recent back surgery my doctor has recommended that I only be up about an hour a day and not to pick up anything heavier than a gallon of milk.  I also was prepared in what I was going to say for each of the three being baptized.  I have witnessed Simone and Demont choose good over evil since they first talked about following Jesus and had a story to share about each of them.

With Anabelle I could think of a million things, like crying because I forgot to pray for her before bedtime, or taking the opportunity when a kid said how much he liked our house she told him that we didn’t move here because of the house we came to help people and tell them about Jesus.  While I could go on bragging as proud parents tend to do I only had one to two minutes to talk about her and I was ready to do so – right up until a few minutes before we went out on the stage at our church service.  I looked at Anabelle, she had the most beautiful face made of joy.  Pure joy, unlike the exciting moments before her ballet recital or her birthday party, she had joy way beyond any party or event might produce.  She looked much older than her seven years.

Simone had a grin on her face that wouldn’t go away.  This girl who lives with so much passion.   She is a leader and she always has something to say but this night she was reduced to a quiet and contemplative young woman who could not put into words what was going on inside of her.

Then there was Demont, Simone’s brother, a well-mannered , nice young man who is always in control of his emotions and quite clear and articulate with his words and actions.  He was bright-eyed and smiling.  Then he was crying in the baptistery and unable to talk about what was going on or say anything other than “God called me and I am answering”.  Such a spiritual moment when for about an hour all the bad drama from the world around them was light years away and there they were publicly confessing their love and need for God.

There are times we are well-prepared for and then there are times you can’t prepare for and last night was one of those great nights.