Snowglobe

My world often feels like a snowglobe. Everytime I see one, I think of my dad saying that I am like a snowglobe…. “when you walk into a room…. it’s like “shake shake shake” and the snow starts to twirl and spin and go everywhere.” I am not sure if he was originally relating to the state of my room as a teenage girl at the time, but there is still truth to this day in his analogy. I have always thrived on chaos.

I can feel it deeply this morning…. as I realized it took me 2 1/2 hours of being awake to settle my soul (let the snow fall) and just sit in the quiet instrumental music of a cloudy morning. I awoke early, only because of my 5 year old who somehow has made it to my bed to snuggle in the early hours managed to push me to the edge of my own king-sized bed. She is good at pushing me to the edge (in more ways than one) and even in her sleep-state was “feisty” enough for me not to want to fight it.

It makes me question why I do not seek more “snow fallen” moments – it feels like food for my soul….. quietness, stillness, peacefulness. I think maybe I am “both/and.” For some reason, God placed our family in the midst of inner-city, door-knocking chaos. We are currently 6 weeks away from giving brith to our fourth (surprise) child in the midst of Thom being nearly 5 weeks now into healing from major backsurgery….. all while being 3 months into officially launching a very busy Front Porch Ministry. There is more…. but I can feel the “snow” twirling and shaking and I don’t want to get my snowglobe “stirred” up again…knowing how long it takes for the settling to happen.

There are so many times, I feel equipped to live out life in the midst of chaos and I can survive…sometimes even thrive. I understand it and can even function in it…. just come to one of our inner-city outreaches. Your head will spin. I have seen it happen with friends who aren’t used to it and it reminds me that God calls us uniquely and individually.

I think the challenge for me is remembering that I can’t stay there. There is so much value in the quiet. There is value in what you can only see and notice in the calmness…. when all the “snow” lies still and there is a quiet, beautiful scene left standing there…..That scene is enough and merits attention aside from the function of the swirling snow. It has beauty all it’s own and can even be valued aside from being shaken or spun. In fact, the scene inspired the snowglobe, not the other way around.

I want to remember that….even in the midst of being surrounded by passionate kids(both my own and our neighbors) who twirl and swirl and shake shake shake when they walk into a room. There is beauty in the calm (not just sound asleep calm). I need the Lord to teach me to let the snow fall (exactly where it may) and rest in the beauty of the scene. I want to take notice of the stillness and the quiet and maybe even softly make snow angels in the mound of snowfall…gazing back at the One that holds my snowglobe world in the palm of His hand.